In 50% of the population, says Hawkins, the circadian system is actually quite flexible, allowing individuals to adjust their schedules between night owl and early bird. The 20,000 nerve cells in our brains that make up the circadian system, keeping our bodies on their respective schedules throughout the day, among other things, regulate our hormones and when we get sleepy. Hawkins falls into the 25% of the population with circadian systems that are hard-wired - or phase delayed - to get sleepy much later than those with phase advanced circadian systems.
Our relationship - and the complexities of falling in love and marrying a partner on the other end of the sleep spectrum - is not unique.Īngela Page Hawkins, a 44-year-old Atlanta resident, is a night owl. Maybe the future means a time when our internal clocks are in sync with the other’s, but for now, we work with what we’ve got. He’s always been the early riser.īut the older we get, the later I tend to stay up working on the couch and the earlier his day begins. This is what works for us, the night owl and the early bird: stolen moments that bridge our opposite sleep types. This is how we stay connected without saying a word. I have always been a night owl. Still in a dream, he sighs softly and shifts his body closer to my own. I wrap my arm around him and pull myself into his warmth. It’s not that hard for me to fall asleep in five minutes, as long as I wait for the sun to mark a new day before climbing into bed. Most days, I am asleep before he gets out of bed and begins his day. Those moments I watch him wake as I am just falling asleep are worth more to me than any verbal declaration of love because these moments are raw and pure and unfiltered. These are the little things - the little parts of our relationship - that mean more to me than any fancy gift. Married for 15 years and together for 17 now, I am familiar with the signs he is waking up before his alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m.
By tiny bits of light escaping through the cracks in the blinds, my eyes trace the lines of his face, and I smile at the sight of his tousled hair. I sometimes watch my husband sleep in the early morning hours.
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